Friday, September 14, 2012

Some Guy Typing

      I am a bit of a dick. The real life version of that dumb dog from late night television. I shit on most everything, but for a good reason. Well, okay, maybe just for A reason. Alright, I shit on most everything for no good Goddamn reason at all. But, that said, why not? Most things could use a coat of feces if for no other reason than to add a bit of texture and flavor that may otherwise be lacking. Poop is a natural thing; pooping a natural occurrence. Where am I going with this? Not sure. Nowhere really. This is just the first in what may prove to be a voluminous series of inane rants and or diatribes that will most likely culminate in a heap of dung. So I'm just gonna go with this motif and see where it takes me.
      Now, I know what you may already be thinking, index finger hovering over that left mouse button highlighting the page back icon, "Great, just what I wanted to read, another idiot with a bad attitude. Some bastion of ill will, bloated by self loathing and a misguided holier than thou sense of moral perpetuity". But before you dismiss me outright, with all the justification in the world mind you, perhaps you should chill the fuck out and give me a second to get this ball rolling. Who knows, it may prove more fruitful than fawning over what some teeny bop tween asshole is wearing to the who gives a shit awards ceremony of the week. After all, this could save your life. Well, that's not true really. In fact that is a bold face lie on my part and I apologize. But if nothing else I do have a way with words.
   So, back to whatever point it is that I'm floundering to make. Or at the very least, whatever point it is I assume I'm trying to make. I mean at this point I'm just milking the hell out of this introduction for all its worth. Which brings me surreptitiously to my next point. I've already used the word point a number of times and have yet to make one. How's that for talent? Of course I've also used the word reason a good deal, but don't seem to have one of those, either, so take that.
      "Alright" I'm sure you're saying to yourself by now, "Why am I bothering to read this drivel?". That I can't answer. I can, however, point out that when I typed drivvle into Bing the fourth entry on the list was Rihanna's Wikipedia page, and that seem apropos. Unrelated? Perhaps, but fuck her. She's been poisoning the airwaves for years now, and that ain't no poop.
      So here we are, you and I, staring into each other's eyes via this flowery prose I've taken precious few moments out my otherwise extremely non-busy life to secrete onto this blog post while watching Sons of Anarchy season 1 episode 5. A decent enough program that aside from it's awful intro sequence has managed to hold my attention long enough to continue plodding through it. All the while leaving me just enough spare brain power to jot down this drought ridden stream of conscience. But perhaps that is the point to all of this. Like an idiot driving a car while checking out the play list on his ipod; I may not be able to do either all that well, but yet I still somehow manage to do both at the same time anyway.
      Still with me? Jesus. Well, I guess that's reason enough to continue. As a mission statement this is pretty lousy, but fuck it. Mission statements are for assholes. Highly polished bric-a-brac espoused by twats twiddling their thumbs. Hogwash etiquette. Mealy mouthed mish mash. Long story short, there is a rhyme to this reason and I suppose now is the perfect time to divulge what it whatever it may be. After all, if you've lasted this long I owe you that much at least.
      This is just some guy typing, nothing special really. From time to time there may be an actual point of contention to be found within these musings of mine. It may not be profound, but profundities are for zealots and people that are legally blind. And although that last statement may not make a lick of sense, has anything you've read thus far managed to? Probably not, or maybe it has, who knows.
      Short story long, from time to time I do manage to proffer gems of wisdom, however tarnished they may be. In fact, here is one such diamond in the proverbial rough right now; a bevy of movies any self respecting film lover should check out in no particular order: The Aura, La Moustache, The Yellow Sea, Animal Kingdom, Princess And The Warrior, Barking Dogs Never Bite, Winter's Bone, The Chaser, Julia, Intacto, Even The Rain, Missing Person, Fay Grim, Snowtown.
     And so it goes. Until we meet again; keep America beautiful- Stop littering, there's a trash can on damn near every street corner you two bit crumb bum!

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